Plo Koon's Forum

This is at once both a spoof and a tribute to Plo Koon, who I assume most of us have a love for since this IS 'Plo Koon's forum' XD
The following fic is meant to be told in a very fast, manic voice.

Once upon a time, the Trade Federation were all like BLOCKADE and the Naboo were all like OHNOEZ so the Chancellor was like @#$%. Then the Jedi tried to save the day!

Only they didn't because there were Droidekas, and they were like KAPLOW CHEW CHEW CHEW and the Jedi were like RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY! And then they landed on Naboo, and Jar Jar was like FANS HATE MESA! and Obi-Wan's like 'and I hate you too', but Qui-Gon's like 'let's save the queen!'

So then they escaped and went to Tatooine and Watto's like 'Only money works!' and then Anakin FLEW IN THIS PODRACE and he was all like EEEEEE ZOOOOOOOOOM and Sebulba was like AHHHHHH CRASH and the crowds were like WOOOOOOOOOO!

So then they went to Coruscant and Palpatine's like 'I'm gonna make an evil scheme, uh, I mean, run for Chancellor!'

Meanwhile, Qui-Gon was all like 'dudes, he's the chosen one' and the council was like 'nooo waaaaay' and Qui-Gon was like 'waaaaaaay', but they were all like up in his grill and saying he can't train the boy. So Qui-Gon had to go back to Naboo EXCEPT THIS TIME Plo Koon was all like 'dude, I'll go with you' and Qui-Gon was all 'Meh, sure.'

So later they were fighting with the droids and the pilots were going to go blow up the ship, and the Gungans were dying and the stupid fans were going YAAAAY and the AWESOME MOTHERKARKING DARTH MAUL appeared, and the Jedi were like 'we got this'.

But before Maul could do anything fancy with his saberstaff, the AWESOME PLO KOON was all like "KARK YOU, MOTHERKARKER!" and he just FOUGHT Darth Maul with his saber and it was like WAAUUUNG BZZZT CRACKLE BACON BRRZAAAAT and when they got to those weird high places with the holes, Plo Koon was all like "@#$% YEAH" and then he SHOT LIGHTNING at Darth Maul and Darth Maul just FLEW AWAY INTO A WALL AND DIED! And that's the end.

And that was the end of the Phantom Menace if Plo Koon fought Maul. Stay tuned for Attack of the Clones. XD

Hope you liked it!

LOL awesome!

Wow, thanks! And here is episode 2: Attack of the Clones!

So it all starts when Padme is flying to Coruscant when her pimped out ride EXPLODES and then Corde dies, but we didn't really care about her. And then SHE'S all like NO WAR! but it's not enough because Dooku is all like NO TAXES

So the Republic is like 'we like taxes' and the Separatists are like 'you all suck!' and the jedi are like 'dude, we can't handle ALL of them' and Plo Koon's like KARK I'M JUST ONE JEDI! Then Ki-Adi-Mundi was all like 'Dooku's an idealist' and Padme's like 'No, he's not' but Ki-Adi-Mundi went 'nope, he's an idealist' and then PLO KOON went SHUT UP and he FALCON PAAAUUUUNCHED Ki-Adi-Mundi

Then Jango Fett was all like 'Zam, kill padme', and Zam was all like 'sure' but she couldn't kill padme because OBI WAN was like SHWOOOM and she was like AHH MY ARM so Jango killed her.

So Obi-Wan had to find out who Jango was and Anakin had to walk Padme home, but when they got home, they made out and were about to get freaky before Padme was like NOEZ and Anakin was like DAMN WOMAN, and then they said some excruciatingly painful things like he's 'haunted by her kiss which she shouldn't have given him'. WHAT THE HELL.

So Obi-Wan went to these cloner guys and he's like 'THAT MUCH FOR AN ARMY?!' and they were all like 'yes, we're douchebags' and he and Jango were like 'dude' but then Jango ran away with Boba and then they FLEW INTO SPACE while Kenobi followed them.

So anyway, they went back to Tatooine, and Owen was like 'whassup, bro' and then Shmi was like 'urgh' and Anakin was like 'AAARGH' and the Tuskens were like "WTFOMGBBQ'

Meanwhile on Geonosis, Obi-Wan saw the MASSIVE DROID ARMY and he was like 'hmm, I THINK they're building an army' and then he told Anakin to tell the Jedi 'dudes, Dooku's building an army' when he was captured by ANOTHER DROIDEKA KAPLOWAWAOW. Then Dooku was all like 'haha, we're building an army!'
'I'll never join you!'
'We'll make sure there are no taxes!'
'Not even then!'
'A sith is running the senate!'
'WTF?!'

So then Obi-Wan was sent to the arena, and meanwhile, Anakin and Padme were running around the factory after he went all WAAA WAAA and the Geonosians tried to stop them but they weren't really important. Then the machines were like KABLAM and C3PO was all like OH DEAR and then HIS HEAD WAS CHOPPED OFF and the couple went to the arena where they confessed their love.

Meanwhile, on Coruscant, Jar jar was all like 'mesa gonna screw you over!' and he gave Palpatine his powers, and Palpatine was like 'We'll build an army! Yeah!' and so Mace Windu was like taking the Jedi while Yoda looked for the Clones, and Plo Koon went all KARK YEAH KICK THEIR ASSES

And then after the animals were killed, then the BATTLE DROIDS showed up and Dooku was like Aha! but then Mace Windu threatened Jango and HE was all like A-HA! But again Dooku called in his tons of battle droids and was all like A-HAAAAA! So then the Jedi fought and a bunch of 'em died and JANGO SHOT THIS GUY and then YODA CAME with the clone troopers and HE was all like HEEHEEHEEHEE! and the Clones BLEW UP THE ARENA after they saved the Jedi. And Kit Fisto blew up C3PO and he was all like

So then Dooku was all like @#$% and Nute Gunray was like AHHHH and the Archduke was like BrrrrKrrriiiit Eeeck Eeeechaphoooo and he gave Dooku the plans to the DEATH STAR, so Dooku ran away, and the Jedi chased him but they had to fight, and Kit Fisto was like again so Ani and Obi-Wan chased Dooku, but then THE AWESOME PLO KOON jumped onto the ship and he was like HE CAN TAKE YOU BOTH EASY so he went with them

Then the dropship was shot and Padme fell! And Anakin was like NOOOO and Obi-Wan's like 'stay on the ship, fool!' and Anakin's like 'put the ship down!' and Plo Koon was like SHUT UP IDIOT and then he PUNCHED Anakin off the ship onto the sand. Then they caught up with Dooku!

So Dooku's like using his force lightning and he was all BZZZZT but then Plo Koon was all like NO YOU and then HE used Electric Judgment, and HIS lightning destroyed Dooku's lightning, and he FRIED Dooku and BASHED him against the wall until he DIED! And that's the end.